Periods and Rejection Letters

I learned a very important lesson about myself this week...
I am no longer allowed to open up letters from literary agents while I am on my menstrual cycle.
Yep, you read that correctly.

(Too much information? Too bad. Don't read this post then.)

You see, most of the letters I get back from agents are rejection letters and I'm already in a bloody bad mood during that time of the month, so I've learned that I really, really, like REALLY need to refrain myself from opening up those dang letters until after my period has passed and I have come back into a better, stabler, more saner state of mind.

You see (I've said this twice now), I get VERY emotional the week of and before my period. Like psychotic crazy. I start balling over nothing and I can easily become angry and it SUCKS!

I try to have fun with it... like when I'm flushing my home made red rum down the toilet I like to say: Goodbye my unfertilized child! Be free!

I try to be, you know (or maybe you don't, "you know" is such a weird saying isn't it?), optimistic about the fact that I'm not pregnant, but I obviously know this already because I have not yet partaken in the horizontal mambo. However, as the Virgin Mary has proven to the world... abstinence is 99.99% effective.

But come on God... Mother Nature... whoever!?!?!?!?! It's the 21st Century. Can't I just get the same message in the form of a text instead?
I'm TOTALLY ok with this! 
As much as I try to be optimistic and laugh about this bloody time of the month... I normally get really cranky and start this internal whining that generally bubbles out of my mouth and turns into this terribly annoying rant that my family, unfortunately, gets to listen to and here it is:

  • Owe.
  • My vagina is detaching itself from the rest of my body. 
  • This sucks!
  • I'm crying over a stupid Swifter commercial. 
  • I'm mad because you didn't smile at me!
  • Wow, I'm so dumb. 
  • There goes a pair of my cutest underwear! 
  • I'm going to die. 
  • I'm going to kill someone!
  • Why wasn't I born a boy?
  • Why was I born at all?
  • I hate all of you!
  • Awe, how cute? I just woke up in a pool of my own blood. 
And as you can see, you don't want to open up a potential rejection letter in that state of mind... at least I certainly don't. 

Blog to you later!



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