The Ninja in Me


Hello there. I have something to tell you... hence this blog post.

So, generally in the morning, before school, I take a shower.
Nothing too unusual, right?
Right.
Just wait for the next part...
So, after my clothes have been stripped off and I am just about to hop in (Well, hopping is actually quite dangerous--you could slip and crack your head open--it's more like stepping in) the shower I normally find a huge unfamiliar bruise on my body. And with a bruise that huge and that blue you would think that I'd know where I got it from, but I don't, instead I'm left mystified. And you would think that massaging shampoo into your hair would help--I don't know, like trigger some memory brain cells and help you remember where the heck you got that bruise, but let me tell you something... it does not do this.
And this mysterious-bruise-appearance thingy happens a lot actually. Sometimes I wake up with more and more unfamiliar bruises. It's as if they're raining down on me, but I know they're not because that's impossible.

So, here's the part where I reveal my genius theory to you...
Are you ready?
Ok.
Here it is: I'm a sleepwalking, crime-fighting ninja at night. 

(Yes, you read that correctly.)

It's plausible right. I am a notorious sleepwalker. Sometimes I wake up downstairs or on the floor of my bathroom. Scares the crap out of me. It's honestly terrifying!

And... AND... I wake up with these giant blueberry colored bruises from hell!
So, I'm either A.) bumping into things as I sleepwalk or B.) gaining these ginormous (yes, ginormous) bruises via unconscious crime fighting.
As you can probably imagine, I suspect option B because it sounds cooler.

But what a weird superpower, to be able to fight crime in one's sleep. Someone should definitely make a comic book character about me.

Today, while at the Portland airport, I was extremely tempted to buy these super awesome red and black ninja socks. They were only 6 bucks! But my mom said I should wait till after Christmas because then they might be cheaper. I feel like those socks were calling to me: Hey Amanda! We can protect your feet at night while you fight crime!
And as I continued staring at them I was like: Yes, Awesome Ninja Socks, I believe in your protection abilities! I will buy you one day!
A-MAZ-ING right?!?!?!?!?!
But just in case... you know.... I don't actually fight crime at night and do in fact just run into furniture... how do I stop this?
Well, I did some research on the internet on sleepwalking and found that a mother had posted an interesting thing about her little toddler. Apparently, he sleepwalks a lot and the only way she discovered him was because the family dog had been following him around the house and the bell on his collar was making a lot of noise, so she went to investigate and found her little boy sleepwalking. Now she puts a bell on her son.

I'm not so sure I want to sleep with a bell, but say I did... no one in the house would hear me because they sleep so freaking soundly.

I still think I'm a sleepwalking, crime-fighting ninja.

Blog to you later.
Love,
Manders (AKA: Your friendly neighborhood sleepwalking, crime-fighting ninja!)

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