Zombies

A couple of weeks ago I was at a sleepover with my best friend Erika Juengling and we had an interesting conversation before we went to bed:

Erika: Do you snore?
Amanda: I don't think so. 
Erika: Do you sleep talk?
Amanda: Yes, this I know of. 
Erika: Uh-oh. Sleep talking scares me...
Amanda: Hmm, well, I guess that is a legitimate fear since sleep walking and talking is, like, the precursor to being a zombie. 
Erika: Exactly!

Now, I didn't really put that much thought into my last comment, but I certainly did afterwards. I mean, think about it? Sleep walking and talking is pretty dang close to being a zombie. It's a terrifying thought! Of course, while asleep, you aren't technically dead, which is, like, kind of a crucial element to being a zombie, but you aren't exactly conscious and totally yourself in that moment either!

Now, I looked up the definition for "zombie" on my laptop and here is what I found.

  1. Originally, a snake-deity of or deriving from West Africa and Haiti.
  2. A soulless corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, esp. in certain African and Caribbean religions. 
  3. A tall mixed drink consisting of several  kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice. 
Wow, I just learned something today! 

Ok, now what are my favorite types of zombie stories?
I'm not a big fan of zombies because A.) they are disgusting and B.) they are terrifying, so it is best if the story balances out the gore and terror with some humor. My favorite zombie movie is Zombieland and my favorite zombie book is Warm Bodies, which is actually coming to a theatre near you on February 1st! SO excited!!!!

Zombieland: "A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio, and a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the Last Twinkie and a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America." ~ IMDB: Zombieland

One of my favorite quotes: 

Tallahassee: Are you [effing] with me? 
Columbus: Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we're going down that hill. It is very important. 
Tallahassee: I don't believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle? 


Warm Bodies: "A zombie who yearns for a better life ends up falling in love--with a human--in this astonishingly original debut novel. R is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams. He doesn't enjoy killing people; he enjoys riding escalators and listening to Frank Sinatra. He is a little different from his fellow Dead. Not just another zombie novel. Warm Bodies is funny, scary, and deeply moving." ~ GoodReads: Warm Bodies 

One of my favorite quotes: 

“In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses.” 
 Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies


Now comes for the moment you've all been waiting for...
The ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!
Well, hopefully, you aren't waiting for this, but I bet you knew I'd be coming around to this in my blogpost. I hear about this all the time. I'm not even kidding you... all the time. With so many zombie books and TV shows coming out people are always talking about the zombie apocalypse. 
I'm totally Team Unicorn by the way. :)
So, I, of course, decided to look up how to survive one and I learned a lot! 
  1. Don't get bitten. (Duh!) And if you do, you're done for. It's important that you tell your friends. You don't really have a choice, unless of course, you want to become a zombie, but if not, make sure they kill you...hopefully they will be gentle about it...
  2. If you are a woman or cross-dressing man... get rid of all your high-heels. Get a hold of some sturdy boots that will last, as well as some trail shoes built for speed (like the kind the kids wear in the Hunger Games), because, let's be honest here, you are going to be doing an awful lot of running.  
  3. As politically incorrect as this might sound, avoid fat people. They're just going to slow you down and get you killed. 
  4. Stock up on canned goods, dehydrated foods, weapons, medicine, outdoor clothing and fuel. 
  5. Consider purchasing a boat and staying near a large body of water. Zombies aren't known for their graceful swimming ability.
  6. Bomb shelters might seem like a good idea at first, but if you are surrounded by the undead, you will eventually run out of food and have to come out. Use a bomb shelter only in a last ditch effort to save your life, when the rotting cadavers are swarming all over you and trying to take a bite. 
  7. Use common sense. Don't elect a psychopath as your leader, and always keep your group together. This isn't a "Scooby-Doo" mystery--this is your LIFE! No matter how tempting it is...NEVER. SPLIT. UP. There is strength in numbers. When it's just you and 120 zombies, your odds of survival decrease significantly. 
  8. Have a back up for everything. Back up generators, batteries, ammunition, food, escape routes, weapon supplies, vehicles, leaders and so on. 

Here are some great rules from the movie Zombieland. 
  1. Cardio
  2. The Double Tap
  3. Beware of Bathrooms
  4. Wear Seat Belts
  5. No Attachments
  6. The “Skillet”
  7. Travel Light
  8. Get a Kick Ass Partner
  9. With your Bare Hands
  10. Don’t Swing Low
  11. Use Your Foot
  12. Bounty Paper Towels
  13. Shake it Off
  14. Always carry a change of underwear
  15. Bowling Ball
  16. Opportunity Knocks
  17. Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
  18. Limber Up
  19. Break it Up
  20. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
  21. Avoid Strip Clubs
  22. When in doubt Know your way out
  23. Zipplock
  24. Use your thumbs
  25. Shoot First
  26. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
  27. Incoming!
  28. Double-Knot your Shoes
  29. The Buddy System
  30. Pack your stain stick
  31. Check the back seat
  32. Enjoy the little things
  33. Swiss army Knife

Do any of you watch the Big Bang Theory? Because I recently just started watching it. Erika told me that Raj poses EXCELLENT questions about zombies. What if there are no more humans to eat? Or rather no more flesh to eat? If zombies are already dead then they can't starve to death, right?

Blogger isn't letting me show the video on here, so instead, here is the link.
Raj asking great questions about zombies.

This was a fun post to write!

Blog to you later!
Love, 
Manders 

Comments

  1. Zombies vs. Unicorns was actually a pretty good book. You should read it if you haven't yet. Some if the stories in it are somewhat graphic whereas others are quite humorous.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, I would love to read it actually! :)

    ReplyDelete

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