The Day I Almost Died
I'm here to tell you about the day--or rather, one of the days--in which I almost died.
Yes, this blog post concerns death.
It is going to be pretty dang intense.
So, today's post was inspired by last night's dinner. My mom, her friend, my roommate, and I ate out at a Thai food restaurant and, well, it was rather spicy... like tears-streaking-down-your-face-snot-dripping-from-your-nose-I-need-more-milk-to-put-the-fire-out-on-my-tongue spicy. And oh god, I am not looking forward to it's departure from my body...
Anyhow, that leads me to the story of how I almost died one fateful night. Again, like the quarter-swallowing story (Quarter-Swallowing Story), I will reveal it to you in third person.
Viewer Discretion: This story involves child abuse.
When Miss Amanda Yancey was twelve-years of age she and her little 10 year-old brother, Drew, thought they were super cool.
Why? You may ask.
Because they could tolerate Tabasco sauce. They'd dump a ton on their food, even splash some directly on their tongues, and you know what... it didn't bother them in the slightest.
One night, Amanda and Drew sat at the dinner table and begged their mother to give them something spicier. So, she gave them pickled jalapenos, then raw jalapenos, and then several other spicy foods that they happily ate and then said: Give me something spicier!
So, then their mother walked into the pantry and came sauntering out with a jar of these little white pickled Brazilian peppers.
(Cue the ominous music: Dun. Dun. Dun.)
Amanda: What's that?
Her mother: These are from Brazil and they are supposedly really hot. Up for the challenge?
Amanda and her brother both smiled.
Amanda: Bring it on!
Her mother unscrewed the jar, which made a little hissing sound.
The children's eyes widened.
Drew went first. He stuck his little fingers into the jar and grabbed the white raisin-sized pepper from it. Hesitantly, he raised it to his mouth and... licked it... and immediately started screaming.
Amanda, always up for a challenge, swallowed the pepper whole.
Before an entire minute had passed, blood was dripping from both nostrils.
Before ten minutes had gone by, she was in the bathroom throwing up and having diarrhea.
Her face turned a deep red and she thought her head was going to explode from the pain.
These were the peppers from hell.
And what did their mother do?
She just laughed.
End of story.
So, I luckily, haven't experienced spiciness to that extreme, but last night came pretty dang close.
Blog to you later!