Thursday, February 21, 2013

Would you rather meet the love of your life, knowing he or she will die within a year, or go without meeting him/her?

Question of the Day: Would you rather meet the love of your life, knowing he or she will die within a year, or go without meeting him/her? Explain.

Answer: This is both a great and kind of a depressing question. I would rather meet the love of my life knowing he will die within a year than go without ever meeting him. And I guess this kind of goes back to that classic saying: It is better to love and have lost than to have never loved at all. 

Here are samples of this theme from great films and books.

The Time Traveler's Wife 

“Don't you think it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?” 
 Audrey Niffenegger

Goodwill Hunting

Will: I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's Game 6!
Sean: Oh, Helen of Troy...
Will: Oh my God; and who are these fuckin' friends of yours, they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh... they had to.
Will: W-w-w-what'd you say to them?
Sean: I just slid my ticket across the table, and I said, "Sorry, guys; I gotta see about a girl."
Will: I gotta go see about a girl?
Sean: Yeah.
Will: That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh, yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.
Will: You're kiddin' me.
Sean: No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret. 

And I love this scene as well.

Sean: Thought about what you said to me the other day. About my painting.
Will: Oh
Sean: Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me. I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep and haven't thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?
Will: No
Sean: You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Will: Why, thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny... on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman... and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably ah throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap... and watched him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help. If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in a hospital room... for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes... that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you. I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think that I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because - You know what? I can't learn anything from you... I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief. 

What about you?
Would you rather meet the love of your life, knowing he or she will die within a year, or go without meeting him/her? Explain. 

Blog to you later! 

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Q: Why You So Happy Amanda? A: Because it's my choice.

A couple days ago someone said: I can't believe how happy you are with everything you've gone through.

I actually hear this quite a bit after I've just explained to someone my spinal situation and everything I've gone through with it. And sometimes this comment really surprises me.

Why should bad things in life ruin our attitude? I think it's a question we all need to ask ourselves.

Take the time to ponder this quote:

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” 
 John Milton, Paradise Lost

It's a great quote isn't it?

I'm going to post an essay I wrote for Chicken Soup for the Soul about keeping a positive outlook on life even when life... well, sometimes sucks (it's not published yet, but I'd still like to share it with you). I just want people out there to know that even though I went through a lot of crap at a young age and in the end turned out to be a decent and happy-go-lucky type of gal... it wasn't an easy journey.

So here it is. Enjoy.
Here is the link to me reading it too.

Someone once told me, “Pain does not change you it reveals you,” and after enduring two major spinal surgeries I’ve come to agree with this statement.

Diagnosed, at age fourteen, with an asymmetrical extra vertebra, I endured a tremendous amount of pain. Kids at school thought that having an extra bone meant I had a tail, but I’m afraid this was not the case. Now that I think of it, though, that might have been easier for me in some ways because then people could see my disability. By age sixteen I grew accustomed to the dirty looks I often received whenever I refused to give up my seat for an elderly person while riding the bus. People only saw me as this healthy-looking young woman who was kind of a brat, but the truth was I was dying on the inside, living in constant agony. Days passed when it hurt to simply breathe. Sometimes I wanted to wear a t-shirt that read: Messed up spine and am in severe pain, so please leave me alone.

            And I feel like this frustration of being misjudged pertains to more than just a healthy-looking kid, like myself, with an invisible disability. Everyone is fighting a battle in his or her life, whether it’s a disease, a death in the family, or something else, and after realizing this I began reacting to those around me differently than I had before my diagnosis. Now, when I run into an unpleasant person I readjust my thinking because maybe that grumpy middle-aged woman in the supermarket is working three jobs in order to support her children and pay off her husband’s medical bills rather than just assuming she is a naturally unfriendly person who hates my guts.  

            It hurt when people judged me. I wanted to smile, pretend like everything was okay in order to be accepted--which is something I often did--but that got tiresome. Sometimes the pain reached levels so unbearable that politeness was no longer my top priority, getting medicine or getting home as soon as possible was of greater importance.
            When the world is crashing down on you it’s definitely challenging to stay positive. Snowboarding, horseback riding, skydiving, school sports and dances, or even bowling for that matter … these were just a handful of the things I desired to do as a teenager and yet I couldn’t and it sucked! It’s easy to sit in a dejected slumped over position and mope over the crappy hand of cards you’ve been dealt, but honestly where does that get you?
            Answer: Nowhere.

This is something I discovered as a seventeen-year-old when two of my four titanium screws cracked completely in half. Apparently, one percent of all patients who undergo this type of spinal fusion crack one screw and I cracked two, which meant round two of surgery! My initial reaction was extreme sadness and anger. A list of profanities bubbled in my brain whenever anyone told me that this was God’s lesson for me or that things weren’t as bad as seemed.

A short period of time passed when I internally blamed my sour attitude on the pain and the unfortunate situation I was in rather than blaming myself, but then my mind flashbacked to a scene a couple months prior to that, which halted this way of thinking. My family went out to dinner one night and my mom was on a diet. I had a bigger plate of food than her and I teasingly said: You make me feel fat.

Mom: No, Amanda, you are the only one who can do that. I can do stuff, but you are the one who gets to decide how that stuff makes you feel.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” well, in that moment I realized that that saying was applicable for horrible situations too. And as Lena Horne so elegantly put it, “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”

Like a banana I had been peeled open because that’s the thing about pain, it doesn’t change you it reveals you. I decided that despite this horrible, horrible situation I had been sucked into I was going to stay positive because, honestly, that was the sole thing I had control of. And once you realize that, you can conquer the world.

Blog to you later!

The Fart Filter

Question of the Day: If you could invent something what would it be?

Answer: (Just a warning: This might gross some of you out.) I would devise a filter that one could comfortably stick up their anus and whenever that particular individual passed gas it would convert that nasty smell into something nice like, oh, I don't know, freshly homemade chocolate chip cookies or something equally pleasant. So, instead of being a burden to society you would actually be doing them a favor. Also, whenever, my brother farts and says it smells like cookies to make me inhale deeply, he'll actually be telling the truth. People will love you and you don't have to be embarrassed anymore! Seriously, I could make millions with this.

How about you?
If you could invent something what would it be?

Blog to you later!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Pirate Name

Question of the Day: If you were a pirate, what would your name be?

Answer: Probably Jackie Flamingo. Not sure why. This was the first thing that popped into my head after I considered what the girl version of Jack Sparrow might be.

How about you?
If you were a pirate, what would your name be?

Blog to you later!



Sorry about the whole MIA situation people.
The past two weeks, I've spent time studying for midterms and then actually taking the midterms. I am also working on various applications and scholarship stuff. It's tiring my friends. I didn't blog because I wanted to focus solely on these tests and if I did have time to write I wanted to spend that writing time on Novel #2.

Which brings us to my next point.
Novel #2.
Novel #2 is going great! These past two weeks I have written around 4,000 words, which is quite an accomplishment in my eyes considering it is often very difficult for me to force myself into novel writing mode when I am too pooped from school and just want to watch Daniel Day-Lewis movies. Also, the part I am currently writing is very emotional and exhausting to pour out in itself. However, once I get myself going, I'm really happy that I did and I always enjoy the writing process. It's sort of like working out in a way.

Next news.
I am doing good in school. So far I have all A's in my classes, except I don't know how my film midterm went yet, but hopefully good. I got 100% on my psychology midterm which obviously got me super excited. I also received a bunch of grants and scholarships to pay of next term's tuition. Yay, for money! So, yes, things are going well in the school department.

And that's about it.

I spent way too much money last week, but that's because I went out to eat and saw a movie with my friends on Valentine's day. This week I need to be very conservative with my money.

Alrighty then. I will blog to you later!


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Don't Litter

Here is one of my many life-altering lessons: Don't litter.
Respect mother nature.

Blog to you later!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Toxic by Britney Spears

Question of the Day: What is your favorite karaoke song?

Answer: Well, here's the thing. I'm not a fan in participating in karaoke myself, but I find it amusing to watch and I've noticed myself always waiting for someone to sing Toxic by Britney Spears. Like, in my mind, a karaoke party is not complete without that song. Hahaha. I know. Weird.

What about you?
What is your favorite karaoke song?

Blog to you later!

Talk with Teacher

Helo friends!
Here is something I posted on Facebook yesterday. 

"Today, I stayed after class with my Images of Disability in Film and Lit teacher and we had a REALLY long talk about my experience with disability. So, now, as my final project I will be talking about my back experience to the class at the end of the term, with a powerpoint and various other show-and-tell stuff like my screws and back brace and Chicken Soup for the Soul story. I'm excited! That's way easier than doing a huge project that involves lots of research. Teacher was glad I have a great personal story to share to the class. :)"

Blog to you later!